


You're killing me...

by akalover



Category: metamoro - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Erm his target, Fab the hitman, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, accidentally in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2020-06-23 13:17:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19702159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akalover/pseuds/akalover
Summary: Fabrizio has always been tight on money. With the job at his father’s garage he can just about manage to pay the bills, but having two children to maintain on top of that makes it very difficult. That's why he decided to take on a job which will pay him big time. It’s a job he had never done before, never even thought about it. It’s dangerous, scary and above all, you could go to jail for life. But when the chance was there, he took it with two hands. Will he regret his decision?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A new fic! Yay! Let's see how this will go shall we?

_Hitman /ˈhɪtman/_

_noun: hit man;_

_A person who is paid to kill someone._

A dark place, shadows who follow you everywhere you go and water dripping from the ceiling. The sound of droplets falling into puddles, making the space even more eerie then it already is. Footsteps were coming closer, his was heart racing faster and faster. _You have to do this, you have to_. He told himself over and over again. Then, from the distance, a large figure walked calmly towards him. The man took off the hood of his big coat and looked up with his piercing blue eyes. He looks intimidating with the bitter expression on his face.

‘’Mobrici?’’

‘’Yes.’’ He replied in a low, breathless voice.

The man took his hand out of his pocket to offer a handshake.

‘’Cornostra, Stefano.’’

‘’Fabrizio. Mobrici.’’

The man was eyeing him up and down, he could feel him judging him as doing so. Everyone always judges him without even knowing the person that he is. But he is used to it nowadays though, it’s not new. But he didn’t expect it to happen in such circumstances.

‘’So. Are you still up for the deal?’’

This was his last chance to pull out, to save himself from trouble. Is it really worth it?

‘’Yes, I am.’’

‘’Good. Now, everything you need to know is in this envelope. Read it thoroughly, prepare yourself and don’t mess it up, otherwise you can get caught. When the job is done, you will get paid the amount that we discussed. Keep me updated through the process, I want to know how you’re getting on.’’

‘’Right, okay. Why do you want this, if I may ask?’’

‘’You may not. I pay you to do the job, nothing else. Got it?’’

‘’Yeah.’’

‘’Observe him first, get him to trust you, this way you can get him on your own easier, so you can get rid of him without anyone noticing. Oh and- if you get caught by the police, it’s your problem, not mine. Don’t say my name, don’t tell them anything. Or else-‘’

‘’I get it.’’ He interrupted the man.

The man hummed and took a step back.

‘’Keep me updated.’’ And then he disappeared.

A day later Fabrizio found himself lying in the dirt under a bush across from his victim’s house. His dad's old birdwatching binoculars came it handier then he thought. He is starting to observe his target first, as Cornostra advised him. Last night he went through the envelope given to him, studying all the information. Described in the file was quite a lot of information, to Fabrizio’s surprise. A lot about the man’s life, his family, and the man’s past. He’s 37, from Albanian descent and works in music. Fabrizio is very curious what this man has done, what could be so bad that someone wants him gone? Maybe he’s a secret gang member, or maybe Cornostro’s girlfriend cheated in him with this guy? As he was running through possible reasons he suddenly saw some movement. A man got out of the house and starts to walk towards the pavement. Is this the man? If he remembers rightly, the information said that the man has dark curly hair, so it’s probably him. As quick as he could (and silent) he jumped up and started to follow the curly-haired man from a distance. The image that Fabrizio made in his head didn’t fit the man at all. The guy, is tall, thin, and doesn’t look intimidating whatsoever. In fact, from the outside, the guy looks quite normal.

It wasn’t a long walk. The guy entered another house and stayed there for a while. It turned night and Fabrizio started to get hungry and really needed to pee. Also, lying in dirt isn’t exactly doing good things to his back. God, why did he take this job. Well, for the money of course, to provide for his children. After Giada and him split up a few years ago, it has been difficult financially for him. Working 4 days a week in his father’s garage doesn’t pay the bills so well, and having two children to maintain makes it even tougher. He needs the money and it’s a quick job, one and one makes two. But is this the right solution though? Fabrizio’s mind didn’t go that far unfortunately, all he was focused on is earning that money and getting on with his life.

For weeks Fabrizio observed the man. Followed him, took notes, kept a low-profile. Most of the time wearing a hat and sunglasses to not stand out too much. Hopefully the man didn’t notice him. After all, he has no experience in this kind of…’work field’. Though through the week it seemed like he got the hang of it. But now it’s time for the next step of the process: Get closer to the target, make them trust you.

Fabrizio made up the perfect scenario to do so. He knows by now that every Thursday afternoon the man walks from a building to his house and grabbing a coffee on his way. His plan is to ‘accidentally’ bump into the man, act like he didn’t see him and hopefully start talking that way. Maybe throwing his charms into it to help the process just a little bit.

And that’s what he did. He took position on the streets corner with a pile of nonsense papers in his hands to make it look more believable. Here we go, Fabrizio spotted the man walking towards him, he took one last deep breath and puts on his best acting skills.

Their shoulders collide with such force that it could have possibly hurt both of them. The papers immediately flutter through the air and without having it included in his well thought through plan, he loses his balance. In a matter of seconds he sees the ground coming closer to his face, but then, suddenly, his body spins 180 degrees and a pair of arms wrap around his torso and shoulder. Like a girl on ice-skates being twirled around he now finds himself looking up to the curly haired man. The man saved him from a possible broken nose and some loose teeth, which was not exactly his strategy. But everything would be better than this situation. Fabrizio feels captivated, looking deeply into dark down eyes, mesmerized, under a spell and the man is the wizard. A faint, apologetic smile appears on the man’s lips and then he lifts Fabrizio up again. Why did this look like he’s part of a romantic movie where one person trips over and the other one catches them and they lovingly stare into each other’s eyes?

‘’I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there. Here, let me help you.’’ The man quickly crouched down and began collecting all the papers. All the while Fabrizio could only stand still on the spot and watch the man. It felt like his brain had an error and needed time to restart again. It’s just because it didn’t go according to his plan, and that’s why body acts this way, he told himself. Before he could kneel and help the man, the papers were already back in his hands.

‘’There you go.’’ The man said awkwardly, his tired looking eyes peeking through fluffy curls. But all that Fabrizio could do was stare. Even though he has seen the figure for weeks now, almost every day. He has never seen the man from this close, being fully visible in this angle at such a close distance. He imagined him to look scary from close up. To have something criminal-like in the way he pinches his eyes, the way he curls up the corner of his mouth in a ‘joker’ smile. His laughter sounding like a mad-man, like the villain in a movie. Because that’s what this guy is right? A criminal, a psycho, a sociopath? Cornostra didn’t say what this guy has done to him, but it must be something unbelievably terrible if it makes you to want that person to be dead. Why else would he? Though, much to his surprise, the man didn’t look even the slightest bit frightening. Quite the opposite actually…

Fabrizio shook his head, needing to do that to eventually get over this _error,_ to finally be able to make words again. ‘’Thank you.’’ He said followed by silence. ‘’Are you hurt? Can I do something for you?’’ You’d think this is the perfect opportunity to get closer to the man, though Fabrizio just brushed it off out of reflex. ‘’No, it’s- I’m fine. It’s okay.’’ The man nodded and puts his hands in his pockets.

‘’You know what, I was just on my way to get a coffee. Why don’t you join me and I’ll get you one. See it as an apology?’’ Again, the perfect offer to gain this man’s trust, he couldn’t decline it again. ‘’Okay, yeah sure.’’ Nonchalantly Fabrizio agrees and joins the man in his walk to the café a few meters away. 

-

It felt...odd, being in this man’s presence, sitting across him at a table with two coffees. He glanced up from his steaming cup and noticed the man tilting his head and squinting his eyes.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Fabrizio freezes. Shit, has he already been caught? Maybe the man did notice him all along...

"Uh- I, I don’t think so?"

"What's your name?" Panic rose in his body, why didn’t he prepare for this??

Bluntly he blurted out his name,- "Fabrizio"- which he later immensely regretted. What kind of a hitman reveals their true identity?! There’s no turning back now anyways, so stick it to it and get on with the job.

"Hmm I don't know a Fabrizio I think. Oh, and I'm Ermal by the way." He reached his hand out to shake it. Ermal, of course he's called Ermal. Fabrizio already knew that but weirdly enough never thought of him as 'Ermal'. Somehow his name was not relevant to him. Often, in his head, he referred to him as 'the man' or simply 'he/him' but never the guys real name. Maybe because it feels more distant, like this absurd thing is not really happening. But it truly is, right now in front of him.

Fabrizio notices that Ermal starts to hum to a song playing in the background, which actually, if he hears it right, is all you need is love by The Beatles. This is great, this way he could start a conversation. ‘’Do you like this song?’’ He nods quickly, beaming eyes looking up at him again when he just took a sip of his coffee. ‘’Yes, I love The Beatles!’’ ‘’Cool, me too!’’

‘’So what kind of music do you listen to then?’’ The genuinely interested tone of voice makes Fabrizio truly astonished. Why would he care what I listen to? Why does he act so interested in me, like we are good friends?

‘’Uhm, well, things like AC/DC, Metallica, Motörhead, U due.’’ ‘’U…Due?’’ Ermal suddenly bursted out in laughter. ‘’Are you trying to joke or do you seriously think that’s how your pronounce their name?’’ The curly-haired man giggles through his words, wiping his eyes from the tears of laughter. Fabrizio feels his cheeks heat up. ‘’N-no? Or wait yes? I don’t know okay!’’ He stated timidly.

It took Ermal a minute to compose himself before he could start talking. ‘’It’s pronounced U two. You know, in English.’’ Again Fabrizio felt his cheeks redden, too ashamed to even look up. ‘’I’m just not that great at English. It’s easier for me like this.’’ He said in a subdued, soft voice. As if he’s he is a child being told off by their parents because they stole a candy from the candy jar. But the man just smiled at him with the softest expression. ‘’It’s okay, not everyone is good at languages…especially Italians.’’ ‘’Ào, what do you mean _Italians_?!’’ Ermal sniggers at his response. ‘’Oh excuse me, I mean, Romans.’’

‘’Ào!!’’

They’re both giggling like teenage girls. Clasping for air, cheeks hurting. Again it took some time to compose, this time also for Fabrizio. Then finally when the giggles sizzled down he could talk again.

‘’No but seriously, what do you mean with Italians, you’re one too so you’re offending yourself actually.’’ ‘’Nope, you’re wrong there. I’m Albanian.’’

Of course he is. Fabrizio knew this, it was one of the first things he read from the information inside the envelope. But somehow he totally forgot. Though, it worked in his advantage. A long conversation follows with Ermal talking about where he comes from and his past. This is good, Fabrizio thought. This means that he trusts me enough to tell personal stuff. It’s a good start, maybe he should tell some little things about himself too…to let Ermal believe that he trusts him too. He didn’t tell him too much information though, to be on the safe side. It actually was a nice conversation, time fly by like it was just a few minutes.

‘’Oh shoot, I have to go I’m sorry. It was nice talking to you, I enjoyed it very much!’’ ‘’Thanks, you’re great company too. And thank you for the coffee.’’ Ermal rummaged through his pocket as if he was looking for something. Then with a ‘aha!’ he took out a pen and grabbed a napkin.

‘’Here’s my number, if you ever feel like talking again.’’ He handed Fabrizio the napkin with a cheeky smile and a wink and left the coffee place.

Did this just really happen? Did he just really get his victim’s number? This is great, no this is more than great. It’s fantastic! There's an even bigger chance to get closer to the man, to really become friends. It would make everything so much easier.

Yeah, this is going to be the easiest job ever, he thought confidently.

But oh boy, if only he knew this would be the most difficult thing he could ever experience.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fabrizio and Ermal are getting to know each other better and better, but somehting happens along the way which has it's very unexpected turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:  
> Hello, it's me again, it's been a while. You might or might not have seen it on my tumblr, but I told there in a post that I'm kinda losing interest in metamoro. It's not that I don't like or anything like that, I'm just moving on I guess.  
> Anyways, even though I'm not really active anymore, I still felt bad for leaving this story unfinished, and I also kept thinking about the storyline in my head. I still very much think it's a cool story and it would be a shame not do anything with it.  
> So here I am again :) 
> 
> I'm asking you to please, please let me know your thoughts on the chapter, and maybe let me know if it's worth spending my time on. Cause if it's not..well...maybe I should leave it be then

Fabrizio waited until the next day to send a text to the number that Ermal has given him. His plan is to meet up again, try to get to know him better and make Ermal trust him.

_(Fabrizio) Hey! It's Fabrizio, the guy who you drank coffee with yesterday. I was wondering, would like to meet up again some time?_

Ermal's answer came soon.

_(Ermal) Hi Fabrizio! Yes, that would be great :)_ _How about Friday around 3 PM? Maybe go for a walk in the park?_

_(Fabrizio) Sounds good!_

_(Ermal) Let’s meet at the café, we could walk from there. It’s only a few minutes._

_(Fabrizio) Great, see you then (:_

Fabrizio looked in the mirror, sticking his hands in his dark locks, trying to make it look like less of a mess. Of course he needs to make a good impression on Ermal, win him over and make the man trust him. Therefor he has also put on his best outfit. A grey skinny jeans and a nice white blouse. The last thing left to do was some aftershave and he is ready to go. To be honest, Fabrizio is quite nervous for this meeting.

Though all the nerves floated away as they chatted in the park, laughed until their belly hurts. Ermal told a lot more about himself this time. His interest, his job, funny stories, but also sadder ones. The visible hurt in his eyes when he talked about his childhood made Fabrizio feel especially sad for him. No child should grow up under those circumstances. Without thinking too much, feeling at ease in the other man’s presence Fabrizio started opening up about his past, his struggle with alcohol and drugs, his children. God, how could he be so stupid and tell all those things about himself. He never told anyone his story this quickly after getting to know them. Let alone to someone who is supposed to know nothing.

After being in deep his thoughts, Fabrizio looked up when a warm hand was resting on his shoulder.

‘’Hey, you should be proud of yourself. I am anyways, and I’ve only just known you for two days.’’ The man said with a wide smile while squeezing his shoulder. Something about his smile made Fabrizio stare at him, his curls fell in front of his eyes by a gush of wind, making those shiny eyes peek through them. The warmth on his shoulder was suddenly gone and Fabrizio shook his head.

‘’Thanks.’’ He finally replied, almost with a blush on his cheeks.

After their meeting in the park, they met up quite frequently. Hanging out, watching movies, go for a walk, Ermal even (accidentally) met the kids when Giada brought them over to his house…he kinda forgot it was his day to have to kids. Within a short amount of time the two of them became close friends. The thought of his job was shoved somewhere in the back of his mind, some days he totally forgot about it, other days he felt immensely bad. Like last week. Ermal invited him over to have dinner with him and his friends. The evening was lovely, he has such great friends and they were all so nice to him. Ermal introduced him to all his friends as ‘’One of the nicest guys I have ever met, and I’m thankful that he bumped into me.’’ Fabrizio hugged him tightly, hiding his face in Ermal’s neck. Their embrace lasted longer than it normally did, but Fabrizio couldn’t help it. This gut wrenching feeling couldn’t face the real world, so the only thing he could do was hide his face.

Once again the two men have met up. Sitting outside in Fabrizio’s garden, with the sun almost going down and a glass of wine to accompany them. As always their conversations never go quiet. Discussing all sorts of subjects, sometimes getting serious, other times they talk about the craziest things like aliens or conspiracy theories. Though especially tonight Ermal seemed quieter than normal, holding in more and speaking with less spark in his eyes. Fabrizio didn’t dare to mention it, maybe he was just having a bad day. After a minute more of silence Ermal carefully started to speak.

‘’Bizio?’’

‘’Yes?’’

‘’Can I ask you something odd?’’

‘’Uh sure?’’ Fabrizio answered confused and took another sip of wine.

‘’Have you ever- felt like you discovered things about yourself that you didn’t know you have it in you? Something so new and strange that you sometimes don’t know how to handle it?’’

Fabrizio exhaled deeply. ‘’I do, yeah.’’ He never knew he would ever be hired as a hitman, and he would be lying to himself if he said that most of the time he knew what he was doing. Because he doesn’t at all, that’s why he’s sitting here with Ermal. The man he is supposed to murder but still hasn’t after 3 months. Instead, they’re good friends. And every day that goes by makes him doubt everything more. Ermal isn’t a bad person, he wouldn’t be capable of doing nasty things, at least not purposely. He even apologises if he steps on your toe. God, and he keeps telling Stefano that he needs more time, and constantly tries to assure him that he can handle the situation. It has become such a mess.

‘’You do?’’ The curly haired man looked at him surprised. Fabrizio nodded and looked down. Carefully Ermal shuffled closer to him and puts a hand on his knee.

‘’I find it really scary but- I have to make a leap of faith. Just to be sure, okay?’’ Fabrizio looks up with questioning eyes, but before he could say anything, it was too late. Softly his chin was held between thumb and index finger and a pair of brow eyes came closer. Pink lips have found their way on his mouth and leave a tender kiss behind.

Oh wow- that was very unexpected.

When the younger man pushed his lips against his he didn’t even register it at first. Being in total shock of everything that is happening. Fabrizio froze at the sudden gesture. It’s like Ermal has pushed a button to shut off his muscles by kissing his lips. But just when his head came round, Ermal abruptly pulled out of their brief moment. Out of breath and with a frightened look in his eyes he looked back at Fabrizio. Somehow the older man managed to get back to consciousness... but not entirely though.

“I- Shit, I’m so so sorr-"

Ermal wasn’t able to finish his sentence, because Fabrizio yanked him back by pulling the collar of his shirt.

The second time round the kiss is much different.

Instinctively their lips begin to move. His hand moves up to Ermal’s cheek, and the other one around the mans waist. Time stood still as the kiss unfolds into a deeper and more passionate one. Fabrizio’s brain has shut off instead of his body, unable to think or realize what is actually happening.

Suddenly Fabrizio feels like reliving a moment, like a flashback occurs to him. Back when they first met, when he deliberately bumped into Ermal and fell over. When Ermal caught him from falling, this error came over him. That same error came over him again, just when Ermal kissed him. Maybe it’s the shock, the unexpected gesture, or maybe something else, something deeper he can’t quite yet get to. With his head being miles away, the feeling of cold liquid pouring onto his favourite white shirt him made him snap back to reality. The glass of he was holding is now empty. ‘’Cazzo!’’ Fabrizio yelled and ran to his kitchen. Quickly he took off his shirt off and started vigorously scrubbing it under the taps running water. Too busy with trying to save his beloved shirt, he didn’t notice Ermal approaching him closer from behind, his hot breath reaching the bare skin of his neck.

A warm finger brushed against his right shoulder blade, mindlessly drawing a pattern like exploring a map. Fabrizio froze at the touch and his breath hitched, though swiftly he caught himself leaning into the touch. Soon another finger and another got into it, until the man’s full hand just caressed the picture tattooed onto his skin.

‘’Why Jesus?’’ Ermal asked in a faint whisper. Fabrizio turned his head in confusion, as if it helped him hearing that soft voice more clearly. His body turned around too, with only the limited space he had between the kitchen counter and the other man. Ermal looked deep into his eyes, then those two brown eyes wandered down. Taking in all the images the younger man had never seen yet before, let alone had known of. With an expression he couldn’t read Ermal looked back up, it felt like his warm body started to gravitate closer towards him. Just like how that finger found its own way on his back, it now has on his chest. Slowly that same warm finger touched the cross on his chest and nonchalantly travelled up until it couldn’t go futher. Without any words being exchanged they once again looked deeply into each other’s eyes, lost into a world of their own. Ermal’s hand crept up to his cheek, left it there for god knows how long. Yet again he feels captivated, like being under a spell, a prisoner in his own body. Unable to think, talk or do anything besides stare.

“I need to change my shirt.” Fabrizio blurted out unexpected and fled to room. Time to properly sink in what has happened wasn’t even there. He had put on a new shirt and ran down to stairs to get back to Ermal, regretting his sudden move of leaving the man behind.

But just when he arrived at an empty kitchen the sound of a door opening made him run towards the front door.

“Ermal wait!” He shouted down the hall way which luckily get Ermal's attention. “We need to talk.” He said approaching the other man.

“Look, Fabrizio. I’m sorry okay, I don't know what came over me. I just-" he sighed deeply looking at his feet.

“I can't lie to you anymore, you deserve the truth.” Hearing those words made Fabrizio's stomach drop. “I like you in more than in a friendship way, I have been for a while now. There, I said it.”

Blatantly Fabrizio gazed at him. Hearing say that somehow came as a surprise, even when they literally just kissed.

There was no denying that Fabrizio had found Ermal good looking, dare he even say handsome. Though it never occured to him to think about Ermal in that kind of way, being too busy and paranoid with the job. But this kiss made him realise what had been happening to him these months. The little things he noticed about the man, the feeling he got when Ermal complimented him or hugged him. Or when he felt bad for doubting Stefano, because he could never find even the smallest thing to make sure Ermal was a bad person.

Because that is why Stefano wants to get rid of him...right?

Then why does it feel like Ermal is the purest soul on this earth? Why does he care more about other people then himself? Why does it feel so comfortable and safe in his presence? Why does kissing him feel this damn good?

‘’I don’t know what to say Ermal, but- I liked our kiss and… maybe this made me realise that I like you too.’’

Ermal’s arms flew around him and held him tight. ‘’You have no idea how relieved I feel right now. I was so scared to tell you, I thought you would hate me and never wanted to see me again.’’

Fabrizio pulled out and smiled at him. ‘’Of course not silly. Look, this did come as a surprise to me so I’m not sure how to act or handle this. So please, let’s take it slow, okay?’’ ‘’Of course, yes.’’

An awkward silence fell over them, still holding each other.

‘’So what now?’’ Fabrizio whispered and they both started to laugh. ‘’Would you like to go on a date, maybe Friday after work? ’’ ‘’That would be nice.’’ Fabrizio nodded.

‘’Great I’ll text you where and when, see you Friday then?’’ ‘’See you Friday.’’ Unsure of his to say goodbye to him he kissed Ermal’s cheek, and Ermal kissed his with a giggle. Then the man left with a blush on his cheeks and a shy smile.

Fabrizio’s heart was thumping in his chest. He leaned with his back against the door and closed his eyes.

‘’Did this really just happen? I can’t fall in love with him, this can’t be happening.’’


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, yes i'm not dead. I'm here with a new chapter. Enjoy!  
> (don't forget to leave a comment and kudos <3)

The day of their date came around. Ermal suggested to go out for dinner at a restaurant which Fabrizio agreed to immediately. He has been thinking a lot since that evening they kissed. Fabrizio feels stuck between two situations, tormented by guilt and sorrow. One, that is the fact that he still is supposed to do his job, even though deep down Fabrizio knows he can’t do it. And the other one, that there are these unexplainable sensations tingling his body when even there bare thought of those luscious curls come to his mind.

Dinner was lovely. Fabrizio noticed that Ermal acted differently then normal. The man blushed more, gazed more, touched more but was also trying his utmost best to present himself the best way possible. Like the clothes he wore or the way he styled his hair… that very nice smelling aftershave which made Fabrizio want to put his nose in the mans neck for the rest of the evening. (preferably all night)

Once their date was over and the waiter got them their bill Fabrizio was shocked when he discovered the amount they have to pay. That’s a lot of money, and he even purposely chose the cheaper options on the menu. He cursed under his breath, looking defeated at the bill. But suddenly Ermal snitched the piece of paper out of his hand. ‘’Don’t worry, it’s my treat.’’ Fabrizio knitted his brows. ‘’But- you don’t have to, really. Let’s, let’s just split the bill.’’ Though Ermal shook his head. ‘’I asked you on this date right? So I’ll gladly pay for the both of us.’’ He explained and smiled sweetly at the older man. Meanwhile Fabrizio felt something heavy in his chest, like it could burst any minute.

They got outside onto the cold, dark street with thousands of shiny stars above them. Awkwardly Fabrizio puts his hands in his pockets, looking over at Ermal, not knowing what to do next. ‘’So, uhm thanks for the evening?’’ Ermal sighed deep. ‘’That’s all you can say?’’ He said and looked seriously into Fabrizio’s eyes.

‘’I find it hard to read you Fabrizio. Sometimes I see you blush, or notice your stare at me. And other times you shy away, or flinch when I touch you. It literally just in the restaurant, I put my hand on yours and you quickly pull back, but then my leg brushes yours and you turn red like a tomato. It’s honestly a mystery what you think of me.’’

God, why didn’t he even notice he acted that way? He needs to stay calm, act cool.

Fabrizio leans against the wall. ‘’Well, why don't you try and find out?’’ Ermal smirks at him and comes closer, resting his hands on Fabrizio’s hips and then presses him against the wall.

Their noses rub together, hot breaths are getting mixed. Softly Ermal puts his lips to Fabrizio’s who already is trying to kiss him deeper. Gradually it becomes more passionate, lips move hungry against each other and soft moans are no longer repressed.

Catching their breaths they eventually part.

‘’Got your answer now?’’ Ermal nods in a grin, then walks his fingers like a spider up Fabrizio’s chest. The younger man sensually looks up and whispers ‘’I think you want to stay at mine tonight.’’ “Do I now.” He replied playfully and just like Ermal did to him, runs his fingers along his chest. “Okay, but first, you need to answer a few questions.” The older man said. “Fair enough.”

“Do you do this often?” “And what do you exactly mean with _this_?” “I mean, take someone out to dinner and then take them home with you. You know, one night stands.” Fabrizio confessed. "I wasn’t planning on just one night.” Ermal answered truthfully with a smirk and Fabrizio hit his shoulder in response. “Now answer my question please.” “No I don't do this often, in fact, I’ve haven’t had a date in 10 years. And I have never done a one night stand.”

Fabrizio nods and tries to think of another question. “So I’m not just a bit of fun to you?” “Fabrizio, we have been friends for 3 months, I’d be stupid to waste 3 months of my life to only have a bit of fun.”

Again Fabrizio nods in response. “Okay, last question. What is it that you like about me?” Ermal takes a step closer and intertwine their fingers. “That’s a good question, though I don't have the full answer quite yet. I need to discover that more, but I can tell you that every day that goes by, I like you more and more than just a friend. And since I kissed you, I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. I would really like to explore that.” Fabrizio blushed hard, he didn’t see such a confession coming. Though he tried to play it cool. “Again, didn't fully answer my question.” Ermal sighed deep and tightened his grip on Fabrizio's hands. “I like your eyes, your smile, your hands, your tattoos.’’ The curly haired man confessed. ‘’I like your sense of humour, I like the way you sneeze, I like the way you pull a face when you don't understand something.” He giggled. “I find you very attractive. From your face to your chest, to your thighs, you just are...like a Roman God. Need I say more?”

“I think I understand.” Fabrizio giggled but Ermal interrupted him. “I also got a question for you.” “Alright.” “Do you genuinely want to go back to mine? And- I’m not talking about sex. We can do whatever you'd like. Maybe just a drink, or a watch a movie.” Ermal sighs. “I know I seemed quite confident with myself just then, but I just tried to impress you. I honestly don't want you to feel uncomfortable or do anything you don't want.”

Fabrizio kissed him deeply in response and whispered upon his lips ‘’Let’s go back to mine, that’s closer from here.’’ and both they grinned. Fabrizio grabbed his hand tightly and led the younger man the way to his house. Once both inside Fabrizio pushed him against the nearest wall and started kissing the younger mans neck. Ermal started to stutter, having a difficult time to produce words, enjoying Fabrizio’s attention too much.

‘’Fa- F- Fab.’’ He tried to say and swallowed hard. Fabrizio stopped abruptly and looked confused at Ermal. ‘’Sorry I- I thought this is what you wanted. Should I stop?’’ Fabrizio apologised.

‘’’No, no! That’s not it. It’s just that…are you sure you want this? I need you to be honest with me and tell what you want and don’t want. Talk to me, we should discuss this first before getting into it and make sure we both feel comfortable.’’ Fabrizio nodded in response, not expecting Ermal to say all of that.

‘’Let me start first.’’ He began to speak again and intertwined their fingers. ‘’I would like to go further, to have sex. But only if you want it too, and if you don’t want it then that’s totally fine. I just- want to you to feel good.’’ Fabrizio’s cheeks heat up. The thought of having sex with Ermal has passed a few times in his head and he can’t deny that it doesn’t excite him. He is curious but at the same time a bit scared. Not because of the pain or because it won’t be good, no. He’s afraid it will be so good that he’ll fall head over heels for the man which means he is in even deeper trouble then he already was.

‘’I want it too, but I’d like to take it slow.’’ He looked down, almost feeling ashamed of confessing it. But Ermal made him look up and smiled. ‘’I told you I’m okay with everything. Besides that, I want to take it slow too.’’ He stated and softly pecked the other mans lips.

Fabrizio couldn’t help but hold him in a tight embrace. Needing something to hold on to, to get back to reality, to prepare for all the hurt and sorrow that’s about to get back to him. Because eventually it will, he knows. The lies can’t keep going on forever, it will be out there some day. But in the meantime, Fabrizio might as well make the most of it while he can, he figured.

‘’Do you wanna go upstairs?’’ Ermal whispered carefully into his ear. Fabrizio nodded and took the mans hand, leading him upstairs. Once they arrived in his bedroom and the door was shut, they stood opposite of each other. But quickly Ermal held him by the hips and puts his forehead against Fabrizio’s. ‘’There’s no need to rush into things, we can go as slow or fast as we want okay?’’ Once again Fabrizio nodded but this time with a small smile upon his lips. Ermal settled down on the bed and patted the space next to him as a sign for Fabrizio to join him.

From there on it was an unforgettable night. Slow kisses, sweet nothings, hands exploring every inch of skin. Hickeys, scratches, messy hair and soft caresses. Two bodies making love, two souls becoming one. Passion, lust, desire and love driven minds going on all night. Two exhausted but satisfied bodies cuddled up. High on the afterglow and lazy kisses being exchanged every now and then, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Fabrizio predicted it right. It was ten times better then he thought it would be. It’s undeniable, there is no place to hide anymore. Fabrizio has fallen for Ermal, hard.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been some months, but finally here's an update. I hope like it and please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts :)

A soft pink haze of morning sunshine shone through the curtains. Giving the white walls a pinkish tone. It actually looks quite nice, Fabrizio thought. A gust of cold air made its way under his sheets, making him shudder. A groan left his lips, knitted brows making a frown on his face. Then the touch of a soft hand caressing his cheek made it go away. ‘’Good morning to you too, grumpy face.’’

Ah, that sweet voice. The same angelic tone that haunts him in his dreams. Forgetting about everything that’s actually going on…

‘’Morning.’’ He murmured with a sleepy voice. And a deep kiss made him sigh with pleasure. Suddenly a giggle was heard by the other man. ‘’Why are you laughing?’’ He asked with a confused expression. ‘’Nothing, just, it makes me happy that I can turn your grumpy mood around with only a kiss.’’ Now he laughed too. It’s true, the younger man makes everything better.

He sat up, now properly taking a look at Ermal. The pink light reflecting on his pale skin, making it look vibrant. His thoughts floated away for a second. He felt giddy, happy, in love. Though soon dark thoughts came crashing in. Regret, guilt, shame, sorrow.

‘’Hey, I thought I took you out of that grumpy mood.’’ Ermal jokes when seeing Fabrizio’s expression change. Fabrizio snaps back into reality. ‘’Sorry, yeah you did. Shall we have breakfast? I’m starving.’’ He tried to shake it off and got out of bed. ‘’Sure.’’ Ermal answered and cuddled him from behind, leaving soft kisses in the crook of his neck. ‘’I enjoyed last night.’’ He whispered.

They had a romantic evening the night before. Watching movies, cuddled up with a bottle of wine followed by a passionate time between the sheets. The perfect ending to a perfect night with a perfect man, as Ermal quoted afterwards.

‘’I did too.’’ Fabrizio leaned back to the heat of the other mans body. Such a nice and comfortable feeling. Something he never thought he liked, but now can’t live without it. It’s those little things that make him go crazy. Makes fall even deeper if that’s possible.

It’s already been a few months since they’re dating. Well, it’s also not dating anymore actually. Ermal asked him only a week after they first spend the night together to be his boyfriend. Of course Fabrizio said yes, how couldn’t he when two beaming eyes looked right into his soul. Owning every piece of his heart. After that it went all went very fast. Spending almost minute possible together, either at his or Ermal’s place. Going on dates, having fun and sometimes even with the kids. It amazed him how quickly they accepted Ermal and how lovely they all are like each other. It’s like Ermal has always belonged there, the four of them, their little family.

_A few weeks later_

It’s a Wednesday night, which means Fabrizio goes straight to Ermal’s house after work. He was glad his boss let him go 30 minutes before closing time, there wasn’t much to do anyways. He has been looking forward to spend the evening with Ermal when all of a sudden he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, letting him know he received a text.

_From: S. C._

_How long will it take Mobrici? Time is ticking. I haven’t got all year for you to finally get it done. You’ve got a week, or else there will be consequences for you._

‘’Cazzo.’’ Was the first thing that left his mouth. Massaging the bridge of his nose, he tried to calm himself down. One week, and then it’s all over.

Fabrizio made his way to the front door, taking a deep breath before ringing the bell. Only just then he noticed two silhouettes through the glass widow, one that obviously belongs to Ermal with his wild locks, and the other one seems to look like a woman. Carefully he puts his ear to the glass, trying to listen to their conversation.

‘’I swear it Sab. The sex is honestly mind blowing, I’ve fallen so hard for him that I could explode from too much butterflies. I’m so in love with him that I’m convinced that he is the one. That we are meant for each other, that we belong nowhere but with each other.’’

Speechless and overwhelmed he stared into the distance. Then suddenly the door opened with a swing and a loud gasp came from both people. ‘’Speaking of the devil.’’ Sabina laughed.

‘’Bizio?! I wasn’t expecting you this early to be honest.’’

‘’Uhm, yeah they let me go earlier. Sorry?’’ He doesn’t know why but he felt like excusing himself for it. ‘’Why sorry? The longer you can be with me the better.’’ Ermal sweetly replied and kissed his cheek.

_Three days later_

Today was one of those hot summer days where you eat watermelon all day and drink cool beer. When you walk around in nothing but some shorts and lie on a sunbed in the garden. You smell of sunscreen and sweat, and itch the most bizarre places of your body from mosquito bites. Then, when the sun finally goes down, when a blue sky turns dark and gets light up by hundreds of stars, you enjoy a chilly breeze on your still hot skin. Just when it cooled down outside, but not enough that the rooms in the house are not boiling anymore. Steaming sex that follows when that evening turns into night. When you’re not sure that you’re out of breath so soon because of the exercise or the humid air, but either way, you feel like you’re in a state of ecstasy. Sweaty bodies tangled up, lazy kisses and whispering sweet nothings.

Those days, those are the best. And today was one of them.

He feels content, complete in every way. But soon that feeling fades away and gets replaced by something else. A dark, scary thought which brings a feeling of angst and deep guilt.

There are 4 days left…

Ermal is asleep. He could do it now.

It would be so easy

Just press the pillow in his face until he stops breathing. He could hide the body somewhere in the woods and nobody will have a clue. He can say that he waited hours Ermal to arrive at his house, but never came. Just say he could have gotten kidnapped or something.

Nobody will think it's him.

He reached his shaking hand behind his head, ready to grab his pillow and don’t look back.

But just as his hand gripped around the fabric of his pillow, Ermal snuggled up to him closer and mumbled ''I love you Bizio''.

Fabrizio stiffened, letting the pillow go. He held Ermal close, pressing kisses to his head and whispered through the sobs ''I love you too, so much. And I’m so sorry.''

He didn't sleep that night, he could only hold Ermal as close as possible and hating himself for taking on the job, for being such an asshole. He can't do it. Ermal made him realise that he doesn't need money to have a happy family. You need love and that's the only thing Ermal has given him. Nothing but love. He can't go on like this, he needs to break up with Ermal and call off the job. Yes it will break the poor man’s heart, but that's better than being murdered.

The next morning felt like a dream. Waking up with Ermals beautiful smile, his messy curls and soft kisses. They sat at the table eating breakfast, legs tangled up under the table. Fabrizio never so many butterflies in his life..which makes it everything more painful. They cuddled some more that morning, kissed some more, enjoying time together until Ermal had to go. When they said goodbye Fabrizio let out a tear without noticing.

''Why are you crying Bizio?'' Ermal said concerned

Fabrizio hated to lie, but he had to. ''It's nothing amore, I just...love you.'' Ermal arms flung around his neck. ''I love you too Bizio.''

Fabrizio decided that the next time they meet up, he's gonna break up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it's not a long chapter :/

**Author's Note:**

> A comment is more then welcome


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